What Are You Grateful for Today? Dr. Brene Brown's Work on Vulnerability - September 10th (WAYGFT)
What Are You Grateful for Today? - September 10th (WAYGFT)
I am grateful for Dr. Brene Brown's work on vulnerability.
The other day while watching a Brene Brown video I cried. It was a mixture of relief, acknowledgement of pain and self understanding that provoked me to cry. I forgot what video I was watching (I think it was 'Why Brené Brown Says Perfectionism Is a 20-Ton Shield | Oprah's Lifeclass | Oprah Winfrey Network') but I do remember it was about perfectionism and how living for what other people think is what perfectionism is really about. For me, it wasn't people I didn't know thought of me, I never cared and gratefully still don't care about what they think, it was about what my parents think. As a child, like most children, I thought they knew the measurement of what a 'good' person is, a person who one should want and strive to be, therefore I was dependent on their validation.
For a long time I struggled with living for my parents. I grew up hearing "Don't dishonor the family". Me being the eldest child the responsibility of being a role model to my younger siblings was put on me. Since my father was a leader in our (religious) community, the pressure to not dishonor the family and be a role model for other children was intensified. When I saw my parents failing at them being what I thought should be role models for my younger siblings, I became more hard on myself.
All the things that I was interested when I was younger I avoided because I did not want to risk failing at it. The things I did try I never tried with my whole heart therefore I could never really fail, at least that's how I saw it then. After being sickened and stifled by years of perfectionism, I decided to move away. Living (far) away from my parents and family is how I gave myself the permission to live for myself wholeheartedly. I was working on it for years and I was getting better at defining what type of person I want to be but I knew I needed a drastic change. So I took a brave chance and left Missouri with a suitcase full of stuff , chump change and a dream to model.
Why Brené Brown Says Perfectionism Is a 20-Ton Shield
| Oprah's Lifeclass | Oprah Winfrey Network
The other day while watching a Brene Brown video I cried. It was a mixture of relief, acknowledgement of pain and self understanding that provoked me to cry. I forgot what video I was watching (I think it was 'Why Brené Brown Says Perfectionism Is a 20-Ton Shield | Oprah's Lifeclass | Oprah Winfrey Network') but I do remember it was about perfectionism and how living for what other people think is what perfectionism is really about. For me, it wasn't people I didn't know thought of me, I never cared and gratefully still don't care about what they think, it was about what my parents think. As a child, like most children, I thought they knew the measurement of what a 'good' person is, a person who one should want and strive to be, therefore I was dependent on their validation.
For a long time I struggled with living for my parents. I grew up hearing "Don't dishonor the family". Me being the eldest child the responsibility of being a role model to my younger siblings was put on me. Since my father was a leader in our (religious) community, the pressure to not dishonor the family and be a role model for other children was intensified. When I saw my parents failing at them being what I thought should be role models for my younger siblings, I became more hard on myself.
All the things that I was interested when I was younger I avoided because I did not want to risk failing at it. The things I did try I never tried with my whole heart therefore I could never really fail, at least that's how I saw it then. After being sickened and stifled by years of perfectionism, I decided to move away. Living (far) away from my parents and family is how I gave myself the permission to live for myself wholeheartedly. I was working on it for years and I was getting better at defining what type of person I want to be but I knew I needed a drastic change. So I took a brave chance and left Missouri with a suitcase full of stuff , chump change and a dream to model.
Why Brené Brown Says Perfectionism Is a 20-Ton Shield
| Oprah's Lifeclass | Oprah Winfrey Network
Highlight quotes from the video:
What Are You Grateful for Today?
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